For one who has always been thinking ahead - of the next job while on the present job, of early retirement before 50 years old, of the general and future needs of each family member, you can say that I have everything planned out for a "smooth passage in life" for myself, Iynee, Sarah and Samantha. Can I really be in control? Yes, I would like to think so, but in reality it can only be half complete for only God is the One in control and He can complete everything for us. That is why it is quoted in the Bible that many are the plans in a man's heart, but they are only for the purposes of God to prevail. I had to learn this reality very, very hard on Saturday, 21 January 2006 and the days following it.
As with each morning from 17 to 20 January 2006 while I was in Perth, I would take the train to reach Claremont very early by 7.00am to be with Sarah, either at the homestay or at Taylors College nearby. That Saturday was one of the saddest days in my life. Before, all I could remember about saddest days were the day when my paternal grandmother passed away in early 1975 while I was a recruit at 1 CDO Bn (I did not earned a red beret), the day when my dad passed away in 1979 after I just became an adult at 21 years of age, and following very soon, the day when I broke off with Iynee in December 1979 because of our different religions. Why did I consider these 3 days my saddest days? Because, each time I would really cry my heart out uncontrollably.
21 January 2006 was really a very sad day as it was the culmination of much planning, final execution, and start of an overseas education life journey in Perth for Sarah, my darling daughter. She would be left all alone in Perth with the homestay lady, Ms M, a complete stranger. That day, just before noon, I said a prayer with Sarah in her big room at the homestay at Claremont before I took the train back to Perth for my flight back to Singapore. That day, I told myself to be strong and not to cry in front of Sarah. But deep in me, I was crying in my heart and I did wiped away a few tears. Sarah is a strong girl and I thought she too, felt the same way I did deep in her heart. I had "dedicated" much of my life to my family, especially looking after both Sarah and Samantha's physical needs for the last 16 years. I sometimes questioned God on why unlike other men, I was placed in such a unique situation and the long period of time I had been put into it. If I declared that I can feel what a mother feels for her loved ones to people around me (mother's love and sacrifice; have not heard about father's love and sacrifice so far - too much stereotyping in life), I am sure not many of them will really believed me, as they would not know how much time I had given "looking after the home and the children". Denying oneself for the sake of others and even more so for God is an ongoing exercise, and always a pre-requisite to knowing the heart of God. It is through all these sacrifices all these years that I am slowly able to build up my strong faith in God. I would always asked God why? why? why? But, He never answered the why so I suppose He has His purposes for me to do it, do it and do it. I began slowly to accept many things that I was been put into as I move on in life and at work. My outlook and my reasoning of life became "more philosophical" as commented by some of my non-Christian ex-colleagues. Actually, becoming more spiritual in perspective and in practice.
Sarah was initially very happy at the homestay for the first 2 weeks but things took a big U-turn in early February 2006. We would call her twice a week in the evenings, talking to her using Skype for about at least half an hour each time. In early February 2006, she called and cried, complaining that Ms M would scold her for not keeping her room clean and picking on her for every small thing, particularly about clearing the wastepaper basket and on vacuuming her room. Sarah claimed she had done all these jobs but Ms M had not seen it. She also informed us that Ms M wanted her out of her house during the weekends to "go enjoy herself" and not "cooped up in her room". We could not imagine her doing that as she had no relatives or close friends in the college yet, and she was never an "outdoor or party" sort of girl. Further, one canot assume feeling safe in a foreign country especially moving around at night, unless in a group. Many Singaporeans do not really know how safe they are in Singapore until they experienced life in another country, including Australia. One can never take safety for granted or assumed a quiet neighbourhood can be safe. I do not feel that way in the evenings when I was out of Perth city at night. Before this incident and it was on Australian Day, 26 January 2006 when Iynee was trying to call Sarah from Singapore, Sarah had gone out with a group of college friends to the city to watch the fireworks; Ms M did not know where she was. Iynee was frantically worried and though I too was also worried, I had to maintain my cool as the situation cannot afford me to behave in a similar manner like Iynee. I have been trained over the years to stay cool by a very, very excitable wife and sometimes by the ridiculous demands of customers at work). Ms M disclaimed responsibility for Sarah's actions where in this situation both parties were equally at fault - Sarah for not informing her where she would be going and how late she would be back, and Ms M for not bothering to made a check with her. In essence, Ms M was not cut out to be a homestay provider as she just did not understand how to live with another person or share her privacy, with an adult or a child. She had probably never really taken care of another human being. This we found later from the second homestay providers. Was it a coincidence or God's plan?
To be continued another day.
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